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Built exclusively for hemorrhoid treatment centers

The patient acquisition
system for hemorrhoid centers that fills your treatment schedule.

Right now, people in your city are lying awake searching for a way to fix this without surgery, and quietly hoping nobody finds out. We put your center in front of them, promise the privacy and the painless option they need, and turn them into booked in office treatments. Not silent sufferers who never call. Booked patients.

Book a strategy call → See what your budget could do ↓
Only 4 hemorrhoid center slots left this month · filling fast
Book your free hemorrhoid center growth call
30 min · No cost · No pitch
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EtherealMinds trusted partners: DesignRush, Google Reviews, HIPAA Compliant, Meta Business Partner, Trustpilot, Google Partner, UpCity
Predictive projections

What could a full hemorrhoid treatment schedule earn you?

Drag the sliders. Based on real campaign data from hemorrhoid and colorectal clinics, we'll show you what a booked out treatment calendar looks like financially.

👇 Drag the sliders to match your center
$2,000
$2,000
$2k$5k$10k$15k$20k
$1,200
$1,200
$500$1.5k$3k$4.5k$6k
Non surgical hemorrhoid care often runs as a series of banding or infrared sessions, so a completed patient is worth far more than a single visit. If you also handle anal fissures, skin tags or a colonoscopy referral, your real number is higher. We'll calibrate it on the call.
New hemorrhoid patients this month
8 to 16
New booked treatments
Revenue from them
$9,600 to $19,200
Treatments × case value
12-month cumulative revenue
$115k to $230k
If you run the system all year
Return on ad spend
5x to 9x
Revenue per $1 spent
These are real ranges from hemorrhoid and colorectal campaigns we've run. Your actual numbers depend on your case value, your booking process, and how much local competition you have. On the call, we'll map this to your center specifically. Get your personalized hemorrhoid center projection →
How it works

A hemorrhoid growth system, not a service.

Most agencies run "hemorrhoid ads" that get flagged, then hand you clicks from people too embarrassed to ever call. We built a predictive system that does one thing: deliver booked in office treatments, discreetly and on repeat.

01

Reach them at the breaking point

We position your center in front of people actively searching for hemorrhoid relief in your city, the ones who have finally had enough of the pain, the bleeding and the creams that do nothing. High intent, real decision moment, not vague awareness.

02

Answer the two fears before the call

Will it hurt, and will anyone know. Our funnels lead with a non surgical, in office option, quick visits, and total discretion, so people can book online without ever saying the word out loud to a receptionist. That is what turns a silent sufferer into a scheduled patient.

03

Predictive optimization

The system learns from every consult and every completed treatment, driving your cost per booked case down month over month, and leaning into the seasonal jumps like the January deductible reset and the post holiday flare up rush.

04

Booked on your calendar

The only KPI that matters: treatments on the schedule. Not clicks, not vanity reach. Everything we do ladders up to a chair that stays full of patients who are ready to finally fix this.

Ready to see it applied to your hemorrhoid center? Book a call →
Why this is different

We made it stupid easy to start.

No lock ins. No smoke. No fine print. If it doesn't work, you leave.

✕

No long term contracts

Month to month. You stay because your treatment schedule is full, not because a contract says you have to.

✕

No setup fees

We don't charge you to start. Your investment goes where it belongs, into getting patients on your schedule.

✕

No embarrassed clickers who vanish

We won't flood your front desk with people too self conscious to ever book. We pre frame the privacy and the painless option so consults turn into treatments.

✓

One focus only

Treatments booked. Clicks, leads and vanity metrics are noise. We report on what fills your treatment calendar.

✓

We keep your ad account alive

Meta and Google flag anorectal and sensitive health ads fast. We know how to write hemorrhoid copy and creative that passes review and keeps running, instead of getting your account restricted.

✓

Up and running in days

From signed to first hemorrhoid campaign in under 14 days. No six week "discovery phases". We've done this before, in your exact vertical.

What to expect

The hemorrhoid center numbers, unfiltered.

At $2,000/month here's what a typical hemorrhoid treatment funnel looks like based on real campaigns we've run.

Clicks
People landing on your relief page
$2 to $7 CPC
Leads
Qualified hemorrhoid inquiries
$18 to $45 CPL
Consults booked
Confirmed hemorrhoid consultations
$50 to $110 CPA
Show ups
Actually walk through the door
65% to 85% show rate
Treatments booked
Treatment scheduled & confirmed
$110 to $240 CAC
Your actual numbers depend on your case value, your booking flow, and your local competition. On the call, we'll map this to your center.
Real clinics. Real results.

Clinics with private, sensitive procedures like yours are already seeing it work.

"

"People used to suffer for years before they ever found us. Now they come in already knowing it is non surgical and private, and they book the treatment on the first visit. My banding days are full for weeks out."

Dr. Alan P., MD · Hemorrhoid & Colorectal Center
Wellness Center in Fort Lauderdale
5x ROAS in month 3
IV Clinic in South Florida
12 to 15 new patients each month
Specialty Medical Practice in Fort Lauderdale
4.2x ROAS in month 2
TRT & HGH Clinic in Miami
+41 new patients in 90 days
Dr. Olayemi Osiyemi (Doctor Triple O)
Trusts EtherealMinds to manage all of his businesses (4+)
Sleep Apnea & Sleep Study Center
+30 new patients in 60 days
Hemorrhoid bookings, last 7 days
📅 New non surgical hemorrhoid consult · Tue 9:30am · $$$
📅 New rubber band ligation · Tue 2:00pm · $$$
📅 New hemorrhoid treatment · Wed 11:00am · $$$
📅 New infrared coagulation · Wed 3:30pm · $$$
📅 New hemorrhoid consult · Thu 10:00am · $$$
📅 New banding follow up · Fri 1:00pm · $$$
+9 more this week
Results vary. Shown examples are representative of hemorrhoid center and healthcare engagements we've run, not a guarantee.
Who this is for

This works if you…

  • ✓
    Run a hemorrhoid treatment center, non surgical hemorrhoid clinic, colorectal or GI practice offering in office treatment as a core service.
  • ✓
    Have open treatment days you want filled and volume that swings month to month.
  • ✓
    Are tired of patients who suffer for years and never walk through your door.
  • ✓
    Want a steady flow of cash pay and insured cases instead of waiting on the occasional GI referral.
  • ✓
    Lean on word of mouth and your website but know it's not enough to keep the schedule full.
  • ✓
    Want a trackable cost per booked treatment, not guessing whether next month holds up.
  • ✓
    Are ready to invest in growth ($2k+/mo ad spend) and want a full treatment calendar.
Who this isn't for

Don't book a call if you…

  • ✕
    Only want free question askers with no intent to be treated.
  • ✕
    Don't have a licensed physician or provider performing the procedure.
  • ✕
    Are looking for the cheapest agency on the market.
  • ✕
    Expect guaranteed patient numbers (nobody serious in this niche will promise that).
  • ✕
    Can't commit at least $2,000/month to ad spend.
  • ✕
    Aren't in healthcare. We really mean it, healthcare only.
  • ✕
    Want to micromanage every ad. Trust us to run the system.
4 hemorrhoid center slots open this month

If you want a treatment schedule that stays full of patients ready to fix this,
we'll show you exactly how it works for your center.

Free 30 minute strategy call. No pitch. We'll look at your case value, your market, your booking flow and your budget, and tell you straight whether this is right for your hemorrhoid center.

Pick your time →
✓ No commitment ✓ No card ✓ No contract
The founders of EtherealMinds, the patient acquisition agency for hemorrhoid treatment centers
Book your free hemorrhoid center call →